You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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