Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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