I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize