guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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