Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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