i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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