You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize