I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
