why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
