my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize