I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Watching her eat just hurts me
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
