I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.