Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.