You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.