You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.