You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.