idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize