I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I could make wine with my vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so let's talk penis.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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