I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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