How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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