Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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