You can't special order awesome
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize