So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize