Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
