There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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