And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
