I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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