you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
That's what I'm talking about
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.