I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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