Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
