theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
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Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
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You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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