i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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