I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize