i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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