I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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