I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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