He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
