He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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