If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
