guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
