You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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