come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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