he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.