I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.