hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.