Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.