why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes