My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize