He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize