he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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