i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
is it fun? or sober?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize