I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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