Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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