I should be sponsored by Trojan
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
