I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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