We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize