Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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